Those Who Grieve Are Loved
by Ivyblade80
Summary: Isane Kotetsu, the shy and timid lieutenant of Squad 4, has been sent to stay with Squad 13 in order to help the sick Captain Ukitake recover from his latest illness. But this objective may prove to be more difficult than she ever expected when certain complications arise, including her own growing feelings for the man..


"Captain...Are you sure about this?" The timid lieutenant questioned the assignment given to her by her captain.

"Of course. I don't see any problems with it, do you?" The gentle voice of her captain spoke.

"Ah, um, well...no, but.." The lieutenant shifted uncomfortably. "Do you think I'll do a good job..? It might make more sense to send someone better..."

"You'll do fine, Isane." Her captain stood from her seat and walked to her lieutenant, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. "You really needn't be so worried, Isane.. Captain Ukitake is very nice, you know. Why are you so nervous?"

Isane gulped. She only wished she knew the answer herself. She had spoken with Captain Ukitake only a few times, but she could easily see just how kind the captain was. But could she really succeed in this task? Captain Ukitake has come down with yet another sickness, and so Captain Unohana requested that Isane stay with him and help him to get better. It was simple, but she'd have to be spending a lot of time with him. For some reason, the very idea made her tense up and become nervous.

"B-but...Captain!" Isane spoke louder, trying to block out the sounds of her own anxiety. "I... I don't mean to speak out of line, but...I'm your lieutenant. Are you sure it's okay for me to be gone for so long? If something were to come up while I'm gone... Wouldn't it be better for me to only visit Captain Ukitake throughout the day, rather than staying there? I only want what's best for Squad 4.." Isane's mind wandered to worst-case scenarios before her captain finally responded.

"Enough, Isane." Unohana spoke sternly before giving an exhausted sigh. "I am sure that nothing will come up. But even if it did, Squad 4, along with the other squads, can handle it. What's important right now is Captain Ukitake's health. I cannot afford to spend so much time away from my work to care for him, but you can." Unohana returned to her seat and glanced back at the nervous girl in front of her. "Besides, your sister is in Squad 13, isn't she? You'll be able to see her even more often now. You always seem to have so much fun when you two are together. Whenever I see you two, you always have such a happy and cheerful expression. And you seem so much less nervous, as well. Please, Isane. Will you do this?" Unohana pleaded to her with a sincere expression.

Isane took a deep breath before slowly nodding. "Yes... I couldn't possibly refuse." Isane smiled, finally giving in. "I only hope that I'll be able to actually do some good for the captain.. He'd probably get better in no time at all if you were to care for him." Isane joked with her captain, whom chuckled in response.

"Perhaps, but do not sell yourself short, Isane. You're very talented, and you will surpass me someday." Unohana tilted her head sweetly. "I know you'll do fine. You always do, after all."

Isane was honored to hear her captain's kind words, but still couldn't quite shake the butterflies she felt in her stomach. All she needed to do was to go to Squad 13 and take care of all of Captain Ukitake's needs. It was simple! She returned to her room and packed some of the essentials, medicines, bandages, anything that might help. It didn't take long for her to get ready, so she left and began her walk to the Squad 13 barracks.

"Sis!" Upon arriving, she was immediately charged at by her younger sister, Kiyone. Her sister jumped at her with a tight hug.

"It's great to see you, Kiyone." Isane smiled cheerfully. Her sister's hyper and upbeat demeanor never failed to put a smile on Isane's face.

Kiyone released her from the hug a few moments later and then placed a hand on her hip as she looked up at her older sister. "So Sis, what are you doing here? You didn't tell me you were stopping by for a visit!"

Isane nodded. "Yes.. I would have mentioned it sooner, but this was a last-minute decision. And I'm not actually here just for a visit.. I'm here to help Captain Ukitake with his sickness." She smiled sweetly.

"Oh! Really?" Kiyone grinned brightly at her sister's statement. "That's amazing!" Kiyone jumped and spun around in excitement. "I would have liked to take care of him myself like I usually do, but squad 13 is really busy lately.. But at least now, I know the captain's in good hands!"

Isane chuckled at her sister's excitement. "Well, thank you for the enthusiasm. But you've seen him, right? How is he doing?" Isane asked, concerned for her soon-to-be patient's health.

Kiyone frowned. "He's not doing so good, last I saw.. He's been in bed for days, and he's constantly coughing and choking. He coughed up blood a few times, too. This is isn't too unusual for him, but we really can't spare any people to help him right now. It's awful, Sis! You've gotta help him!" Kiyone clasped her hands together in a pleading motion.

Isane nodded, taking mental notes of her sister's description. "I see.. Well, it's a good thing that I'll be here to help now. And my captain has asked me to stay here for a while so that I can be around in case of emergency."

Kiyone nodded and then grinned happily. "But hey, you know what that means right?" She jumped up and gave her sister another hug. "Sleepover! You can stay in my room with me, and you can give me all the details about Captain Ukitake's condition! Although, I won't have anything to worry about. I'm sure he'll be better in no time with your help!"

Isane gave a somewhat nervous smile. Her sister always had been so encouraging and she had so much faith in Isane's abilities. Isane only wished that she could have as much confidence as Kiyone thinks she should have. It's true, she had helped save many people's lives. But she was supposed to take over her captain's position someday, so she needed to be even better. She could never compare to her captain, so how could she ever be the one to replace her? It simply didn't make sense, she thought.

"Ah.. Kiyone?" She called to her sister. "I should get to Captain Ukitake's room now, so...could you tell me where his room is? I'm afraid I don't actually know.." She chuckled nervously, disappointed that she had forgotten to ask her captain about it.

"Oh! Right, right. It's right this way! Come on, I'll take you there!" Kiyone immediately rushed off, leaving her sister behind. She probably shouldn't be running through the halls, yet there she was, dashing away. Isane called out to her sister as she struggled to catch up.

Once they finally reached Captain Ukitake's room, Isane had been breathing heavily and panting, exhausted from all the running. Kiyone, on the other hand, was completely fine. She looked at her older sister in confusion. "Come on, Sis. Why are you so tired out already? The Captain's room isn't even that far from where we were!"

"But... I wasn't expecting...to run here.." Isane spoke between breaths, barely able to make the words out.

Kiyone sighed as she jokingly shook her head in disappointment. Once her sister caught her breath, she knocked on the captain's door. A "Come in" was heard, followed by heavy coughing. She motioned for her sister to follow as she opened the door and approached the bed where her captain sat.

"Ah, Kiyone.. It's good to see you." His voice was weak and he started heavily coughing after he spoke. He then looked past Kiyone, noticing the tall woman shyly standing there. He smiled warmly at her. "And you're Kiyone's sister, aren't you..? Isane Kotetsu, is it?"

Isane jumped slightly, not expecting him to suddenly speak to her. But she nodded quickly and bowed in respect. "Yes, Sir! I am Isane Kotetsu, lieutenant of Squad 4 Captain, Retsu Unohana! I am honored to be given this opportunity to assist you."

Her posture was very stiff, and she spoke very seriously, causing Jushiro to laugh, along with a few coughs mixed in between. He looked back to her with a cheerful smile. "Please, no need to be so formal. Captain Unohana told me that you'd be taking care of me for a while, so we might as well drop the formalities, if that's all right with you."

Isane gulped nervously. He wanted her to drop the formalities, and speak more casually... She wasn't exactly sure if that was a request she could complete. He was a captain, and she was only a lieutenant. How could she possibly be casual with him? She was still very formal with her own captain, and all the other squad members. The only one she was ever casual with was Kiyone. It was going to be a perplexing task to complete.

"Captain! You can't just expect Sis to drop formalities. Being overly formal is what she does best!" Kiyone laughed, though her words caused Isane to look down in disappointment. Being formal really may have been her greatest talent, if it could even be considered a talent.

"Is that so? Well, no matter then.. Just try to relax a bit, will you? It's good to let loose every now and then, or else you may end up exhausting yourself." The captain looked down for a moment before laughing quietly. "Hah.. Perhaps I should take that advice as well. Maybe then I might not get sick so often."

Kiyone sighed. "Captain, that's what me and Sentaro always tell you! You're pretty stubborn, you know."

Jushiro laughed once more, before having yet another coughing fit. Once he was done, he nodded. "Yes, that may be true."

Kiyone crossed her arms with a pout. "You'll admit you're stubborn, but you still won't do anything about it.. Oh well, that's just part of what makes you so endearing and wonderful!" Kiyone placed her hands on her cheeks as she blushed, off in her own little world. Kiyone tended to be pretty...well, obsessed with her captain, and she would always talk about how great he was. Because of this, seeing her so bubbly when talking about him was no surprise to Isane.

"Aw, but wait a minute.. I gotta get back to my work! I got a ton of paperwork to deal with.. Sis, you're sure you can take care of Captain Ukitake by yourself? Maybe I could try to stop in from time to time.." She frowned, worried for her sister.

Isane shook her head with a kind smile. "It's all right, Kiyone. I'll be fine. I'll see you tonight, all right?" She gave a reassuring smile, easing her sister's worries somewhat.

"Well.. If you say so. See you later then. And bye, Captain Ukitake!" Kiyone waved to the two before running out of the room, off to finish her paperwork.

There was an awkward silence. Kiyone's quick footsteps faded into the distance as the two remained there, both unsure of what to say. The silence was eventually interrupted by the captain having yet another coughing fit. Isane quickly raced over to him and place a hand on his shoulder, asking if he was all right. He looked up with a nod and a weak but happy smile. "Ah, yes. I'm quite all right."

Isane frowned in response. "You certainly don't look all right! Look, you even coughed up blood.. Let me get you a fresh towel!" She quickly reached into her bag of supplies, never having let it go the entire time she was there.

Jushiro shook his head with a chuckle. "I appreciate the concern, but it's not necessary. This is normal for me. And I could take care of myself, but Captain Unohana insisted on sending someone. But I'll be fi-" He was cut off by his own coughing. Isane frowned even deeper, noticing that he coughed up even more blood.

"Even if this is normal for you, Captain Ukitake, it's not at all healthy! You're a captain, and people rely on you. If someday, you got too sick, and...if something happened to you.. Squad 13 would be a mess." She frowned, looking down sadly. "And Kiyone... I don't even want to think about how sad she would be. She really cares about you, Captain Ukitake.. And so do all of your other squad members, as well."

Jushiro nodded with a sad smile. "Yes, I suppose that's true. In fact, I've thought about it quite often." He looked away, his smile fading. "I'm not going to live forever. It's a miracle that I've even survived this long, to be honest. Oh, but don't misunderstand. I fully intend to live as long as I can, and to be as helpful as I can be to others. I've met so many wonderful people in this world, and I've seen so many amazing things, so I'd hate to have to leave it someday. But...it's always important to remember your own limits. And I've always been limited from these illnesses, so I know that one day, I will reach my limit. But...I am prepared for that."

Isane was shocked at what she was hearing. She had no idea that the captain thought about such...depressing things. He always seemed so cheerful, it was hard to believe that he really felt like this. But she didn't want to think about the captain dying. If he did, then Kiyone would be so sad. She couldn't bear seeing her little sister upset, so it was even more reason to make sure that she took care of Captain Ukitake, for her sister's sake.

"Even so, Captain.. I don't think you should think about such depressing thoughts. Your physical health could also be affected by your state of mind, so being pessimistic will only make your sickness even worse.. I'm sure being a captain is stressful, but you should still try to be positive, even when things are grim. Because...I...as well as the other squads, would be very sad if something happened to you.."

Jushiro smiled, happy that the woman was so concerned for his well-being. "Well, thank you, Isane. I'm not sure if it would really be that much of a loss, but...you're very kind."

Isane blushed somewhat, surprised to hear the captain complimenting her. She looked away, embarrassed. "I... I'm only doing my job, Captain Ukitake.."

"Hm.." The captain looked deep in thought before sighing. "I already told you that we should drop the formalities. Calling me Captain Ukitake all the time would take too long, right? We're going to be together a lot, so calling me Jushiro would be much easier.." He smiled mischievously.

Isane's face reddened even more as she shook her head quickly. "I... I could never! I am only a lieutenant.. Please, Captain Ukitake. We should maintain formalities. It's only professional, after all.." She had hoped he would understand, but he responded with a pout. He almost reminded her of a child that didn't get his way.

"I only wish you would lighten up. As I've said, we will be spending much time together. I don't want you to be so...stiff! I believe referring to each other by our given names will be much easier. Don't you agree?"

Isane frowned, her blush refusing to go away. "I.. I can't refuse a captain, can I..?" She mumbled to herself. "I... I suppose, then...that we can refer to each other by our given names.." She continued to mumble, although the captain's grin revealed that he heard all of it.

"Excellent! So...go ahead! Call me Jushiro." He continued to grin, excitedly awaiting her response.

Isane's blush continued to grow as she thought about it more. She only referred to her own captain as Captain Unohana, but here she was about to call another captain by their first name? It was improper. Disrespectful, even.. But...this is what Captain Ukitake wanted. She took a deep breath before speaking. "O-okay.. Captain- I mean...Jushiro.." Her blush grew once she finally got the words out. Even though she was a nervous wreak upon saying it, Jushiro's smile only grew, happy with these results.

"Wonderful! Now we refer to each other by our given names, so we're friends! That makes me happy." His voice trailed off as he stared across the room. He then stood up and walked to his window, very shakily. Isane ran to his side as he stumbled, almost falling over. She looked to him with concern as she held onto one of his arms, trying to keep him from falling.

"Captain, ah, Jushiro!" She almost mistakenly referred to him as Captain Ukitake again, but she corrected herself before continuing. "Please, don't stand so quickly! You know that you're very weak in your current condition.. Please return to your bed.." She pleaded with him, concern evident in her voice.

Jushiro sheepishly smiled, trying to hide his embarrassment. "I'm sorry.. I only wanted to look out the window. It's a beautiful, sunny day today, isn't it? It's still very early, as well. It would have been an excellent day to go for a walk." He frowned sadly, staring at the outside through the window.

Isane frowned. He once again had an expression that reminded her of a sad child. He was still a kid at heart, it seemed. She found herself wanting to just give him his way, even though it was bound to end badly. Still, she knew that she had to resist the urge. "You know that you're too weak for that currently, Captain Ukitake.. When you get better, you can go for as many walks as you'd like." She still ended up referring to him formally. She really didn't think she could ever feel comfortable referring to him as Jushiro..

He sighed with a pout. "I don't know.. There may never be another day as beautiful as this one.." He continued to pout sadly. "Besides, you called me by Captain Ukitake again. I believe that means you owe me, doesn't it?"

Isane frowned. Was the captain attempting to blackmail her? She sighed deeply. "I'm sorry, Captain. But I don't think I can ever call you Jushiro.. It's just...not right." She looked down, disappointed that she couldn't complete such a simple request.

Jushiro nodded with a slight frown. "Well then.. How about this? If you go for a walk with me, then you can go back to referring to me formally."

She sighed. He really was trying to blackmail her. For someone that seems so nice usually, he could be awfully mischievous. However, this was a deal that she really couldn't refuse. It wouldn't be so bad if they went for a walk for just a little while, right? And she would be with him in case something happened, so they should be fine. And she'd bring her medical supplies, so nothing could go wrong...she hoped.

"All right, you've got me.. I accept, Captain Ukitake."

Jushiro's grin returned at her response. "Well then, Isane. Shall we be off?"

Isane let go of his arm finally as she went to grab her bag of supplies. "Yes, I suppose so, Captain Ukitake." She mumbled as she returned to his side, making sure that she was close enough to catch him if he almost falls again. The two then left the room and made their way to the outside. They walked for a while, and Isane's guilt of allowing this to happen only grew with every time Jushiro coughed. He eventually started to feel even weaker after so much walking, so the two took a seat on the grass. Isane was extremely nervous and was apologizing nonstop.

"I'm so sorry, Captain! I knew this was a bad idea, but I allowed it anyway.. I am very ashamed of myself. Captain Unohana would be so disappointed.." She mumbled to herself, her concern growing by the minute.

Jushiro gave a weak laugh, along with some coughs. "Please don't worry so much. I asked you to bring me out here, and I take full responsibility for it. However.. I do wish we would have brought some food. It'd be an excellent day for a picnic!"

Isane had been frowning the entire time, but seeing the captain's carefree attitude even now couldn't help but make her smile. "It really is a beautiful day.. A picnic would be lovely right now." She stared happily at the bright blue sky, the snow white clouds passing ever so slowly.

"Well then.. Let's get some food!" Jushiro spoke cheerfully. "We can eat, and then we can return to the barracks."

Isane nodded. "All right then. I'll go get some food, and some tea as well. Please stay here until then." She stood up and was able to leave, but Jushiro held his hand out to her, motioning for her to wait.

"Wait, I want to go as well. It wouldn't be right to leave a lady to get all of the supplies." He began to stand, but Isane shook her head.

"But Captain.. You're already weak, you need to rest right now. It's really no trouble for me to go alone." She tried to smile reassuringly, but the captain refused to accept that answer.

"I've had plenty of time to rest now. I feel much better already, so I can go as well." He smiled kindly as he stood up, dusting himself off before beginning to walk rather quickly.

"B-but Captain! Please wait!" She called out to him as she tried to keep up. For someone who was about to faint a brief time ago, he certainly was moving quickly.

Isane eventually caught up to the captain, after he ended up passing out from using too much energy too quickly. She stayed with him the entire time he was unconscious, sitting by his side as he laid in the grass.

Once Jushiro woke up, he noticed Isane staring at him, clearly very concerned and possibly a little disappointed in him. "Isane.. I.." He began, speaking nervously. "I'm sure you're upset with me, but.." He was cut off by the woman beside him.

Isane sighed, frowningly sadly. "It's fine, Captain.. I'm not upset. Well, I'm a little upset with myself, since I should have prevented this.. But I'm not mad at you, okay? I'm just...glad you're all right." She gave a small smile, causing Jushiro's worried expression to change to a smile as well.

"Ah, I'm glad.. Although, you probably should be upset with me. I just keep causing you more trouble.." He scratched his head sheepishly, disappointed in himself. "But you shouldn't be upset with yourself. As I've told you, anything that happens to me because of my...well, stubbornness, is my own fault. You are doing your best to help me, but I'm the one that's messing things up.. I apologize, Isane."

Hearing the captain apologizing so sincerely was surprising, and caused her to blush faintly. She looked away in embarrassment. "You... You don't need to apologize to me. I'm only a lieutenant, and you're a captain. I'm not worth apologizing to.." She looked down sadly.

Jushiro sat up and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Don't say things like that. You may only be a lieutenant, but you still deserve kindness, just like the rest of us."

"Captain.." Isane mumbled, surprised at his kind words. "Captain Ukitake.. You're...really nice."

Jushiro smiled before standing up and offering a hand to Isane, who took it and stood up as well. "There are many truths to life, but one of the most important ones is that you should always show kindness to others, even if they don't always deserve it. It may end up helping them someday." He then scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "Then again, I may just be exaggerating here.."

Isane shook her head with a cheerful smile. "No, I think those are good morals to live by.. And...they certainly suit you. You're always so kind to everyone. It's no wonder that Kiyone likes you so much."

This time, Jushiro seemed to be the one blushing, clearly embarrassed. "Oh, well...thank you. But being kind is the right thing to do, so.." He trailed off, unsure of what else to say.

Isane giggled at his embarrassment. "Of course, Captain." She then placed a finger on her chin, thinking. "Oh, but I suppose we should get that food now. You were unconscious for a while, but there's still some time to eat, if you'd like to."

Jushiro nodded with a bright smile. "Yes.. I'd like that very much."

With that, the two went to get some food to bring to a quiet and peaceful picnic. They had fun chatting and laughing about various things, and by the time they were done, it had already begun to get dark out. Isane escorted Jushiro back to his room. She had said her goodbyes and was about to go to her sister's room, but Jushiro called to her before she left.

"Captain Ukitake? What is it?" Isane asked, tilting her head curiously.

He smiled somewhat nervously and looked down. "Ah, well.. I just wanted to thank you. You know, for taking care of me, and putting up with all the trouble I caused you. I appreciate it."

Isane shook her head with a smile. "It's no problem, Captain. Even if you can be a bit difficult to deal with, I enjoyed spending time with you." She chuckled quietly.

Jushiro laughed a bit too, before his smile faded slightly. "Ah, but Isane.. Are you sure it's a good idea for you to be sleeping so far away? I might end up coughing myself to death while you're gone.. Maybe you should just stay here for the night? You know, for my health."

Isane blushed at his comment before shaking her head. "Please don't joke like that, Captain Ukitake! And please, just try to survive until I return. I'll be back first thing tomorrow morning."

The two said their goodbyes once again, and thus Jushiro was left standing alone in his room. He walked to his bed and took a seat, quietly contemplating something. After a minute, he sighed and mumbled. "...I wasn't joking, though.." The words that were meant for Isane were left lingering in the air as he fell into a peaceful slumber.


End file.
